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I woke up this morning brainstorming about a theater production I might like to put together. Some of the elements of this production I have been kicking around in my mind since I was a kid. My brainstorm revolved around both the creative and practical sides of this potential endeavor. It’s an exciting daydream, and a great way to wake up.

I have been working very hard in my business this year, and I’m seeing results in the form of noticeably increased income and work that feels less like work and more like what I do best naturally. With this and my renewed determination to live a frugal life and not let my expenses expand to match my income, I am planning to save a lot of money to use for bigger ventures, especially my wild creative projects (theater and music and who knows what else?!).

I am happy that my creative verve is just as strong as it ever was. I’ve grown up some and I’m looking more at the big practical picture now, but my central love hasn’t gone anywhere.

A wise person recently told me: “Discipline is remembering what you want.” Getting back in touch with what I want has dramatically kicked up my self-discipline, productivity, and earning power.

I played tennis with my friend David yesterday, and I am feeling it today. I feel as though accumulated sludge has been loosened from my body and mind, and the humours and ideas are flowing freely again.

I live in a house in the city of Chicago. It’s a small, older house with a little front yard with a huge evergreen tree in the middle of it. I moved into a house so I would have no shared walls and could make music anytime day or night.

One of my favorite features of the house is the fact that because it is set back from the road (behind a three-flat), on an alley, and flanked by houses on either side, it is very well buffered from typical city noise. My default sleep pattern is sleeping from 2:00 am to 10:00 am, and my biggest peeve in general is unwanted noise. Low noise means I can sleep in without being disturbed, which I love, especially on weekends. I am very protective of my undisturbed sleep!

The last week or so, I’ve begun hearing the different songs of birds from the evergreen just outside my window in the morning. Though its branches are still snowy, the birds know that spring is just around the corner! And though when I am trying to sleep the chirping annoys me sometimes, I am very aware it’s not the worst alarm clock one can have.

Their songs are flashing me forward to spring and summertime. I am imagining in saturated detail how I will feel, the easy summer clothes I will wear, the biking and tennis, walking and swimming, long sunshine days, fresh fruit and pitchers of iced tea, completely different mood.

Chicago Winter and Chicago Summer are two different planets. And I feel lucky that I get to live on both of them.

And now, some pictures from this winter!

In my neighborhood:

Near a bus stop at Lawrence and Kimball:

The carpet of snow just outside my door the morning after a heavy snowfall:

The Texas sky in winter, at my parents’ house in December, where they have old, old pecan trees all over the place:

Bigger versions of these last two here and here.

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. -Leo Tolstoy

Part of Week 4 of The Artist’s Way (this week) is “reading deprivation”, and wow, it’s harder than I thought it would be. The rules are: no reading of any kind for a week. Since I have to read to run my business, I haven’t given up all reading, but I have given up all non-essential reading (well, I’m trying to).

Some excerpts:

“We have a daily quota of media chat that we swallow up. Like greasy food, it clogs our system. Without distractions, we are once again thrust into the sensory world. We often cannot hear our own inner voice, the voice of our artist’s inspiration, above the static.

If we monitor the inflow and keep it to a minimum, we will be rewarded for our reading deprivation with embarrassing speed. Our reward will be a new outflow. Our own art, our own thoughts and feelings, will begin to nudge aside the sludge of blockage, to loosen it and move it upward and outward until again our well is running freely.”

The first day without my daily fix of news, blogs, books, and random words, I gorged on images. I was doing a somewhat creative project at the time and it was a productive exercise, but I was aware that I was filling the void of words with a glut of imagery.

The second day (today), I slipped up a couple of times, but a lot of the rest of the time, I have felt aimless, and now near day’s end, I am feeling exactly what was mentioned: it’s as if all this mental sludge in my system is dislodging, and clarity is doing everything it can to elbow it out. But that crap isn’t going out without a fight! And clarity is so civilized.

I am surprised because I have consciously turned off the in stream before in effort to give my own creativity a jumpstart, and I know that it has worked wonders. But it’s been a while. Quite a while.

I turned down the lights this evening and played banjo for about half an hour, working on my very first attempt at a banjo song. I am kind of loving it so far. :) We’ll see where it goes.

As I am making positive changes in my life right now, trying to be very honest and dig deep down to the roots of bad habits and tendencies, I am feeling both the exhilaration and discomfort of change. I understand why so many people are so afraid of health care reform, and any other significant change. It’s scary! Even if it’s for the best, it’s scary.

But fear is just a feeling, and reason, good decision making, and determination can obliterate it.

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. -Kierkegaard